Cute-ness

Bedtime? What bedtime?

Making the Most of Time Apart

We waved bye bye to Da-Da today, he is going away to train for a few days.  So, it is going to be just me and the little guy this week.  If I have learned anything, it is that saying goodbye is never easy, even when you have to do it as often as we do or if the trip is short.  Oh, and Kyle took the car... so we are pretty much stuck at home.

As much as being apart totally sucks... I try to make the best of it.  There are three major things I can do while Kyle is gone.

1. Totally Veg Out!  - Dinner comes from the freezer, read books, watch movies, and take lots of naps!

2. Cleaning/Organizing - I love for Kyle to come home to a clean house, and I love to live with everything around me tidy and organized.  This is my chance to pull everything out of the cabinets and closets without feeling as though I need to do something with it immediately because I have all week to finish.

3. Projects - Scrapbooking, painting, blogging or whatever.  I can spend a whole evening lost in a project with no worries.

I guess the biggest challenge now is that I am going solo this week with an 11-month-old!

Overall, I think I have plenty to keep us busy.  We are going to miss Kyle like crazy, but every time he is gone I always surprise myself with how much I am able to do on my own. XOXO Da-Da!

Two Pink Lines

Kyle and I had our wedding on October 10, 2009.  The day was overcast, but to me it was beautiful.  The rain seemed to break just in time for our brothers to set up the white chairs and scatter rose petals down the aisle.  Hundreds of pink and orange roses made the reception feel as if we picked a sunset from the garden.  Sharing that day with our friends and families was perfect.

Our honeymoon was beautiful, a cruise to Key West, Cozumel and Belize.  The weather was just getting cold in Tennessee so it was amazing to suddenly arrive at the beach.  I was a size two and bought the cutest little black dress in Key West for $200, almost as expensive as my wedding gown!  We went snorkeling, swimming, shopping, and there was so much great food.  The first and only vacation for just the two of us.

A few weeks later, I started to feel a constant yuckiness.  I kept saying that I didn't feel bad enough to go home sick, I just didn't feel good.  My co-workers assumed I was pregnant even before the idea crossed my mind.  We got pregnant on our honeymoon, how crazy and exciting that was!

At our nine week appointment, however, we received the devastating news that the little peanut didn't make it.  The miscarriage was tough, but somewhere deep down we felt that was how things were supposed to be.  Kyle took me to a concert for my birthday to help me forget about how awful that week was, and it worked (I had been begging to go to that concert for months).  Christmas and the New Year came and went and I was still feeling pretty sick, this time my mom asked me if I was pregnant.  Inconceivable, I thought.  I just had a miscarriage, I hadn't even had my first cycle since then... how could I possibly be pregnant already.  That is when I hit up Google.  Hello?! No one ever told me it was EASIER to conceive after a miscarriage!  The doctor told us to wait at least four months before trying again, but we were already back in his office a month later.  Before we knew it everything was rainbows and butterflies again.

Kyle was home for the entire pregnancy through chocolate cake and cookies, we both gained like 60 lbs but it was worth it.  Luckily, he didn't have to deploy until two weeks after the little guy was born, such a blessing.  I know other Army wives have the added stress of wondering if their hubby would make it home in time for the birth, but Kyle was able to just deploy a little later than the rest of his team.  I was so grateful that he was here, he had the strength and confidence that I just didn't have.  Being a mommy was more like learning to ride a bike for me... but for Kyle, haha, becoming a daddy was like eating... just so natural.

The deployment was hard as a working mommy... daycare, frozen dinners, sleepless nights... but with generous help from family and friends, we made it through.

It is like we blinked our eyes and it is one year later.  The little guy is already walking.  Kyle has been home for all the big milestones- eating solids, crawling, walking- and he is enjoying every minute of it.  He is such a wonderful daddy.

Now here I sit, staring at two pink lines all over again.  What a crazy adventure!  I guess it is going to be awhile until I can fit back into that cute black dress.

New Beginnings

Life is different as a military wife.  I can't explain.  I can't compare, as this is all I know.  Kyle and I have been married two years now, but it feels like we just started dating yesterday.  It is not what I would have ever dreamed of, yet I could never dream of anything else.  I have a great deal of respect for all women who have ever occupied this role, of those who currently do, and all those who will in the future.  It is not easy, but I wouldn't trade this life for anything.

This is the kind of life that makes you want to spend every waking moment with your family.  This is the life that can make you quit your job and sell your car just to spend every possible moment with your son and your husband.  This is the kind of life that makes you feel guilty every time a mean word slips from your lips.  This is the kind of life that can keep you on your knees for months on end, praying that he comes home safely.

After two deployments and one baby, I have finally decided to embark on a new life.  In this new life I am giving in to my heart.  I quit my job, we sold our truck, and as of last week I am not only an Army Wife, but also a stay at home mom!

Tonight I am so blessed to have my whole family snuggled into bed -both cats, both dogs, the little baby man, and my husband.  This road is a long one, filled with so many unexpected challenges, but looking at that bed, packed full of love, I wouldn't change a thing.